If Candace Knew: The Series
by Wii Guy
Summary: AU. Based on several of my favorite episodes. Starring a sometimes-jealous Candace with a mission: to have summer fun with her brothers, while keeping them unaware that their pet platypus is a secret agent.
1. Mom's Birthday

**A/N: Attention: This is NOT the movie-based fanfic I am working on. For a while, I had several ideas about how Candace would react if she was supportive of her brothers' ideas, as well as how she would converse with Perry now that she knows he's a secret agent.**

**I write these chapters as I get ideas from the episodes so they may NOT be in chronological order, much like the series itself. This first one is based on "**_**Mom's Birthday**_**" and happens before Candace learns Perry's secret. Sometimes, I'll have Perry narrate, but Candace is the main character here.**

**I don't own Phineas and Ferb. Disney does. Please Read and Review!**

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><p><em><strong>If Candace Knew: The Series<strong>_

By Wii Guy

A Fanfic based on several of my favorite Candace episodes

**Mom's Birthday: Being Outdone**

It was Mom's birthday and I got up early to practice the song I was going to sing for her. I have been feeling annoyed with my brother's creations for making summer fun lately and have tried to show Mom what they have done to get them into trouble. However, their creations always seemed to have disappeared before she could see them. I would usually freak out afterwards, but Mom would calmly offered snacks. _Hey, those would be perfect lyrics: Although my brothers make me frantic| With every single crazy antic| And when I'm bouncin' off the walls| You're the one who stays calm| Because you love me for who I am| I'll always love you, Mom!_ I was going to give Mom a great birthday, especially because Ferb's dad was out of town on a business trip for a few days.

After rehearsing the song several times, I was confident that I was ready to sing it later. I went downstairs and prepared a breakfast tray with bacon, eggs, and orange juice for Mom. As I went into Mom's room to be the first to wish her a happy birthday, Wham! The door flew open, smacking me into the wall. The boys, unaware of me behind the door, walked in.

"Happy Birthday, Mom," I overheard Phineas greeted her. "We brought you some periodicals – like _Mom Daily, Mom Weekly, Mom Bi-weekly_- And just the way you like it, half-caff, double-frapp, mocha choco-latte mezzo-espresso."

"Oh, wow," Mom was impressed. "You boys really outdid yourselves."

"Au contraire, mon mere," Phineas attempted with a so-so accent. "I declare it's our mission to give you best birthday ever. So relax, enjoy some reading, and no peeking till we come get you." As they shut the door behind them, I was fuming and not because there was hot bacon and eggs on my face; the boys outdid my Breakfast-In-Bed idea for Mom!

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><p>After sneaking out of Mom's room and getting myself cleaned up, I went downstairs to the kitchen. Phineas was checking his piggy bank and calling his friends for help, while Ferb was preparing an omelet station. I peeked in, still somewhat sore that they'd beat me to getting breakfast for Mom. I cleared my throat, getting Phineas' attention.<p>

"Hey Candace," Phineas greeted pleasantly despite stealing the attention I expected from Mom. "Want to man the omelet station?"

With my arms folded and a glare, I sternly answered, "I'm doing my own thing." They blinked. "Well, are you going to ask me what it is?"

"Sure," he complied, sounding somewhat confused. "What are you doin'?"

"It's a secret," I simply stated. No way was I going to tell them; they'll just outdo it. I went upstairs into the den. I started to work on a homemade birthday card for Mom. But then, something strange happened. As I looked out the window for a moment, I could have sworn I saw a familiar teal-colored animal. It moved so fast, I couldn't see exactly what it was. _Wait, was that P…? Nah, it couldn't be. I'm just seeing things from the stress._ I shook it off.

"The boys may have won breakfast," I said to myself. "But wait until Mom sees this homemade birthday card!" I finished the card. It was a drawing of me and Mom holding hands together and waving to the card's reader. I signed it, "Love, the child who loves you most, Candace."

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><p>I walked downstairs into the kitchen with my card and a smile for Mom. Immediately, my smile turned upside down as Phineas' friends and some of Mom's friends have gathered around a breakfast table as if Breakfast-In-Bed wasn't enough to start Mom's birthday. I tried my best not to let that annoy me.<p>

I tapped Mom's shoulder. "Mom, this may not be a fantastic breakfast," I said, ready to show my homemade card. "But-" My chance to show the card was interrupted by Phineas.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Phineas announced. "Mom's birthday card." Buford walked out with a card as tall as Ferb!

_Heh, it may be big, but boring_!

My doubts about the boys' card disappeared when they opened it. It was like a pop-up card with a pop-up birthday cake, dancers that would dance when you move the tabs, and printed on the card were the words, "Happy Birthday, World's Greatest Mom!" But, that's not all. It also played a fanfare when it was opened.

"Oh, boys," Mom approached them. "I can't believe you two made it yourselves." My eye twitched. Without thinking, I ate my words as well as my homemade card.

"Glad you like the card, Mom." Phineas accepted her thanks.

"It's a simple postmodern fusion of origami and pop-up." Ferb explained.

"Yeah, and just wait until you see your present." Phineas declared. "Stay right there." They left for the backyard.

"Oh, I hope the boys don't go overboard with my present." Mom stated. "All I'd really like is that dress from that cute little sundress shop."

My face of depression instantly changed as I confirmed. "You mean that really cute one with the polka-dots?"

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><p>Next thing I knew, I zoomed out of the house on my bike. Yes, I zipped right out of the front door of our house and into the shop where I bought the purple sundress complete with polka-dots, never getting off my bike. Don't ask me how I paid for the dress; I've forgotten. On the way back home, I thought I heard buzzing. <em>Who cares? I am going to show Mom that I care for her!<em>

I stepped into the backyard with the dress behind my back, about to present Mom's present, when the sight before me caused me to remarked, "You got to be kidding me." The boys had built a simple, non-bust-worthy balcony on the tree trunk to serve on Mom's throne as Birthday Queen as well as a catwalk where Isabella, assisted by the Fireside Girls, was modeling a dress. It was, according to Phineas, a "chic, stylin', not couture sundress perfect for our birthday queen to sip iced lattes while enjoying a faboo day in the sun."

I was honestly impressed. The boys finally built something not worth busting them for; it wasn't like the usual giant versions of stuff they build every day, and I actually liked it. However, they have the wrong sundress. It's okay, but it's not as great as the sundress I bought. I pulled out my gift for her, only to find out that it was being eaten away by moths! I found myself being chased back into the house by the disgusting bugs, never really noticed by anyone.

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><p>The moths chased me back into my music room and flew away. When I saw my instruments that all started with the letter B, my panic vanished. I can still give Mom the one thing the boys can't: the gift of music. I picked up one instrument and started to play. But strangely, some Mysterious Force kept making them disappear until five minutes later, I had nothing left. I should have manned the omelet station!<p>

To say I was depressed would be a grave understatement. It was like the Universe didn't want me to give Mom the best birthday ever. I found myself sadly walking back out into the backyard where everyone, including Mom, were sitting on blankets laid out on the lawn.

"Candace," Mom beckons. "Come join us. The boys put together a little video." I did so, not caring what she said.

Phineas tossed me the remote. "Here," he said. "You can do the honors."

"Fine, whatever," my rejected voice replied. I pressed the play button.

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><p>With Phineas narrating, the video show a slideshow of Mom's life from birth, to young adult, to mid-sized adult, from the 80's to 90's. "Mom enchants everyone she meets, but who is this person we call 'Mom?'" I couldn't find anything to bust them for in the video. And even if I did, I was too dejected to say anything.<p>

_Why does everything I do can be done a million and six times better by my little brothers? I guess that's one of the reasons why I try to bust them to Mom every day. What do I get out of busting Phineas, and to an extent, Ferb? I just make Mom think I'm crazy when she ends up seeing nothing._

Mom looked towards me. "Isn't this wonderful?" she asked.

"Yeah, really great," I said with broken spirits.

The video continued with on-screen Phineas narrating, "But a true testament to what a great mom you are is that your daughter would take the time to write this song."

_Wait, what?_

I couldn't believe my eyes. On screen was my final rehearsal of the song I was going to sing for Mom! The boys must have recorded it before I went downstairs. I was speechless, but Phineas said my song was nice, while Ferb gave me a thumbs-up. They then led me up onstage to sing with the video. I hesitated at first, but gained my confidence back and sang with my brothers and their friends backing me up.

The whole song was as follows:

_Mom, it's your birthday  
>Thanks for all the care and love you give<br>Not to mention the meals  
>Sometimes, I get kind of nervous<br>and forget to tell you how I feel_

_I'm a little high-strung  
>It's just because I'm young<br>Mom, I adore ya,  
>And I'll do anything for ya<em>

_Although my brothers make me frantic,  
>With every single crazy antic<br>And when I'm bouncing off the walls,  
>You're the one who stays calm<em>

_Because you love me for who I am,  
>I'll always love you, Mom.<em>

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><p>When the song was finished, all of my worries and depression had completely diminished, and Mom had tears of joy rolling down her cheeks. She ran up onstage and hugged me. "What a beautiful song, honey. I only wished Dad could have heard it"<p>

I smiled "Well, I really wanted you to have a happy bir-"

"Oh, I almost forgot," Phineas interrupted, obliviously stealing my spotlight. "We set up a satellite up-link with Dad."

Mom followed the boys over to a screen where Dad's face appeared. When Mom mentioned my song, any and all contempt I had for my brothers evaporated. Throughout the summer up to this day, my brothers' Big Ideas have always been getting on my nerves and stealing everyone's attention from what I wanted to say or do. But now, I realized that it didn't really matter. It was Mom's birthday and my brothers and I have all done our parts to make Mom the best birthday ever!

I noticed behind me was a familiar, somewhat smelly animal: Perry. Normally, I can't stand his presence, especially when he shows up in my bed some mornings. After all, he is more the boys' pet, not mine. But after this day, I was so happy that I knell down and petted him for the first time in months, maybe years. "Hey, Perry," I greeted. "Where have you been? You missed all the fun."

Perry chattered with his usual meaningless sound. Little did I knew that soon, I was going to learn what he was and why he kept missing all that has happened in the backyard.

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><p><strong>AN: There you have it, the first episode-based chapter I have written for **_**If Candace Knew: The Series**_**. Sorry, but you'll have to wait until the next chapter to see how Candace learned Perry's secret.**

**Until next chapter, R&R. I am out! Peace!**


	2. Ballad of Badbeard

**A/N: Hey guys. Sorry that it has been three weeks since I uploaded something. And I wasted spring break doing other things when I could have work on my stories. It was like I was hit with writer's block ray. Say, that could be a good parody of the song, "With These Blueprints" from "Phineas and Ferb Interrupted" It could be called, "With These Fanfics" I bet someone out there could write one with some thought.**

**Anyway, here's the second chapter of my If Candace Knew: The Series.**

**I don't own Phineas and Ferb. Disney does. Please Read and Review!**

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><p><strong>The Ballad of Badbeard: Learning Perry's Secret<strong>

**Candace's POV**

My life changed forever the day when I learned Perry was a secret agent. It started near Badbeard Lake. I, my brothers, Perry, and a few of their friends were camping at Grandma Betty Jo Flynn and Grandpa Clyde Flynn's cabin. They were the parents of my mom, Linda Flynn. Unlike my brothers, I wasn't the type of person to enjoy the outdoors. Instead, I preferred being in a place where I can call Stacy and/or Jeremy. With nothing interesting to do, I reluctantly follow them through the woods, hearing them sing some song that wasn't much of a song.

Grandpa Flynn then gave a warning about some orange moss that can cause hallucinations when it's touched. I found myself asking Grandma Flynn if he's right. She whispered to me that it's the blue moss you have to watch out for. Still, I panicked when I laid my hands on some orange moss. I ran through the woods, stopping to catch my breath behind a tree. I heard someone coming from the other side of the tree. I peeked around it to see Perry the "doesn't do much" platypus walking aimlessly on all fours through the woods. Normally, I wouldn't be interested in what he's doing, but in a second, all that changed.

One second Perry was looking completely uninteresting, the next second he stood up on his webbed feet like a human, put on a little hat that he grabbed out of nowhere, and his eyes that were always staring in opposite directions turned into a focused and determined look. He pulled out some kind of remote and pressed the button on it. An eagle swooped down and grabbed the surprised animal and flew away.

Next thing I knew, I was spying on Perry and the eagle from a nearby tree. They were both wearing hats as if they were secret agents. An egg in the nest cracked open to reveal some sort of video screen. A middle aged man with one eyebrow that stretched over both eyes appeared on the screen. "Good morning, Agent P, and thank you for your help, Agent E," the man greeted the platypus and eagle. He mentioned his wife was remodeling the regular base, whatever that meant. "Agent E has spotted Dr. Doofenshmirtz on Spleen Island. He's moving boxes and equipment into what's known as the haunted cave of the old sea hag. Honestly, I'm not making this stuff up. But anyway, we believe he's creating a new hideout there, and we want you to foil his plans. Good luck, Agent P."

"No way," I said to myself. "That is so weird! Must be the orange moss messing with me." But I thought for a moment: _Grandma said the blue moss causes hallucinations, not the orange moss. Am I really hallucinating or not?_ I lost my balance and fell down into the bushes. I got up just in time to see Perry being dropped off by the eagle on a pier at the lake's edge. He and the eagle both saluted each other before going on their separate ways.

Perry ran to a jet ski docked near the pier, jumped on, and drove it toward the center of the lake. "Now Perry has a wet ski?" I questioned. "How strange can this get?"

"Oh, it gets much stranger, Kevin" said a talking zebra that was sitting in a rocking chair and drinking tea. Before I could say anything, a rope that was attached to Perry's Jet Ski caught my foot and pulled me along the surface of the lake. I had no idea who the zebra was, but I was amazed at Perry going all high speed toward his target: a cave entrance leading into the caverns of Spleen Island. Compared to what my brothers do every day, Perry being a secret agent is the most normal thing that happened all summer. _Real or not, he looks good in that hat_.

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><p>I followed him through the cave without him knowing. He went through a door where I decided to hide near. I watched through the door as a hunched-over… pharmacist, maybe… wearing a lab coat and speaking with some kind of a German accent, trapped Perry around the middle in some metal claw. Could this person be the "Dr. Doofenshmirtz" that the man in the egg was talking about?<p>

The pharmacist seemed completely harmless at first, telling Perry that he is moving legally into this cave, and for cheap as well because it is supposed to be haunted by a terrifying sea hag. "Perry the Platypus," he said. "Just because I'm evil doesn't mean everything I do is evil." Perry responded with a unimpressed glare, as if he wanted the man to do some "evil". "Fine!" the man responded with a sinister look in his eyes. "You want evil, Perry the Platypus? I'll give you evil!" On the weird side, I received the urge to quietly sing, "Why do my nostrils whisper to me?" Don't ask why!

Soon, that "Doof" (I'll call him that) had Perry over a tank of two crocodiles, both named Susan after each other. Perry was in trouble and, real or not, I had to help him! I was going to storm in, but something told me I shouldn't be seeing Perry as a secret agent. I had an idea when I saw some seaweed near me. I threw the seaweed over my body like a torn cloak, approached Doof with the best evil witch laugh I could do. Doof jumped at the sight of me and back away until he felled into the tank, dropping the remote. The claw released Perry as I noticed a button labeled _self-destruct_.

"Hey Perry," I called, putting my finger over the button. "I'm going to get a snack from the vending machine, you want some?" Perry's expression turned to fright and he shook his hands as if saying _No! Don't press that button, Candace! _I felt as if Perry was going to press the button himself, but I still had to act crazy. _If anyone else thinks I saw Perry as_ _an agent, there could be trouble,_ I thought to myself.

"Suit yourself," I said "I'm going to have me some beef jerky!" I pressed the button. The place started to crumble as Perry grabbed me by the wrist and ran, leaving Doof to simply and calmly say, "Curse you Perry the Platypus."

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><p>After running through the caves, being washed away through a raging river, and carried by the eagle I saw earlier, Perry and I were on a ship that Phineas and Ferb apparently made. They and their friends came back with a handful of bad fake beards that was apparently the treasure of Badbeard left within the isle of Spleen. Perry was looking mindless again and his hat was gone, as if he never was a secret agent. Soon, I was in my tent with Grandma. I asked her about the moss again. It WAS the blue moss, not the orange moss that causes hallucinations. She left me to my rest alone with Perry, saying it must have been the power of suggestion that made me thought Perry was a secret agent. <em>Was it really the power of suggestion?<em> I had to find out!

I checked to make sure no one would over hear and shut the tent door. I looked at the mindless animal and asked, "Perry, are you a secret agent?" He responded with his usual chattering noise that seems to mean nothing.

"Perry," I begged "if you are a secret agent, I promise not to tell anyone. I'll even tell you my deepest secret." I whispered in his ear the secret. "If I tell anyone your secret, you can spread my secret around."

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><p><strong>Perry's POV<strong>

After all this time, someone in my host family discovered I'm a secret agent. For a long time, I wanted to tell them, but I knew Major Monogram wouldn't allow it. Still, I decided to take the risk. While Candace was looking away, I placed a pamphlet in my mouth, while keeping my "mindless pet" act up. She took the pamphlet and read it, "So You've Discovered your Pet is a Secret Agent".

After she finished reading it, she looked at me for a long time before slowly smiling. "That's why you couldn't tell us? There's a rule that says if your cover as a mindless pet is blown, we won't be allowed to see you again?" I chattered positive. "Don't worry," she said. "Your secret is safe with me. At least I now know where you disappeared to every day."

I got up on my feet and whipped my fedora on. With a notepad and pencil, I wrote what I wanted to say. During the next hour, I told her about my nemesis Doofenshmirtz, my boss Monogram, and the rules I wanted her to follow. When she understood everything, I hugged her, handing her a note saying she had lifted a heavy burden off my conscience.

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><p><strong>Candace's POV<strong>

When we got home, Perry asked if he could come into my room after everyone goes to sleep to tell me more. I gave him the go-ahead. That night, there was a knock on my bedroom door. Sure enough, it was Perry in pet mode. He came in and laid down on my bed next to me without even putting his hat on. He wrote, "_Candace why do you try to bust Phineas and Ferb?_" It seemed like a simple question, but how to answer?

"Well, I guess it's because they are younger than me and have already done so much, especially with building a roller coaster and an actual beach in the backyard. I feel like I'm in their shadows, and nobody gives me a lick of attention, except my parents and friends like Stacy and Jeremy. Some of their inventions even looked dangerous, but I guess they were being careful. Maybe I should be more involved with what they're doing. I could make sure they don't get hurt while actually having fun. In fact, there will no more trying to get the boys in trouble for me. I'll try to show Mom some of the things they'll build, but only to show how amazing they are at doing these kinds of things. Confidentially, I've always thought their creativity, imagination, and ability to do anything were more amazing than annoying, and that's why I've always been secretly proud to be their older sister."

Perry smiled, now that we have come to an understanding. He wrote, "_I'm glad you are only looking out for the boys' well-being and for giving me my name._" I was confused. "What do you mean I gave you your name?" Perry grabbed something that was hidden in his fur around his neck. He dropped it into my hands. When I open it, it all came back: I was the one who direct Phineas and Ferb attention to Perry at the pet store five years ago; I was the one who convinced them to changed his name from Bartholomew to Perry; and I was the one who placed the photos of the boys and Perry when we first adopted him into the very thing I was looking at: his locket.

I smiled as we both hugged each other. I welcomed him to spend the night. As we both fell asleep, I realize something, _I may not stand his platypus smell sometimes, but he feels like an twin brother to me that I can't do without._

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><p><strong>AN: The hard part of writing this chapter was Candace's answer to her busting habit and deciding to go through with letting Candace truly give up trying to get the boys in trouble. Even without her trying to get them in trouble, some episodes had the conflict come from somewhere else. **

**If any of you have suggestions on how I can improve this chapter, send me a private message, please.**

**Until next chapter, R&R. I am out! Peace!**


	3. Interview With a Platypus

**A/N: Happy Memorial Day, everyone! Finally, I got to finish this chapter just in time. Enjoy.**

**I don't own Phineas and Ferb. Disney does. Please Read and Review!**

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><p><strong>Interview with a Platypus: Hearing Perry's Voice <strong>

A huge leap was made the day I would hear Perry's voice through a translator. It started one day when I was thinking about my boyfriend, Jeremy Johnson. I was hoping he would call me when my cell phone rang. It was him. After calming myself over the thrill of talking to him, I picked up the phone.

"Hey Candace," Jeremy said on the other end at his house. "I just got this new video game. I thought you might want to come over so we can play it together." It sounded like a great idea. Stacy and I only played one video game and we weren't really good at it. Perhaps he could give me a few pointers. He's the nicest and cutest boy I have ever known next to my brothers, and he could help me get into playing these video games. There was just one little problem forming in my mind, though: How to deal with his little sister, Suzy Johnson.

Suzy Johnson seems like such an innocent child to her family until their backs are turned. I first met her through the phone on the day my brothers built a haunted house to scare the hiccups out of Isabella. She warned me with a menacing tone, "Never forget this: I am and always will be Jeremy's favorite girl." When I went to their house on that day, she sic her black poodle on the seat of my designer jeans, sprayed high-pressured water from the sprinklers in my face, and rev a little toy truck to throw mud on my crying face all before Jeremy came out and suspected nothing of his little sister's torture tactics on me. I left for that day in despair, but luckily Jeremy continued to hang out with me. But that didn't discourage "little sabotage" Suzy.

I remembered the day my grandma, Betty Jo Flynn decided to settle a roller-skate rivalry with Jeremy's grandma. Suzy tricked them into getting me on Flynn's team just to rig my skates to backfire. Luckily, the grandmas finished in a tie and admitted that they at least had fun with their grandchildren.

I sarcastically responded, "Oh yeah, you, me, and little Suzy playing a video game, huh?"

"Suzy?" responded Jeremy. "No, she's at her friend's house." Next thing I knew I was at Jeremy's house, out of breath.

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><p>Soon, Jeremy was showing me how to play. "I'm really glad you wanted to come over, Candace. Most girls aren't into stuff like this."<p>

I blushed. "I guess I'm just cool like that." I leaned in for a friendly hug when a black poodle jumped in between me and Jeremy. It was Suzy's dog. Jeremy stroked it on the head as he continued to play his game. I tried to be friendly towards the dog. "Who's a good girl?" I asked in baby talk. "Who's a good girl?" The dog growled back. "Obviously not me," I said with slight disappointment.

Later, just as I was learning the difference between pausing the game and resetting it, the dog raised its hind leg and… "Oh no," I moaned, looking at my ruined shoes. "These were brand-new."

"Hey, bad dog," Jeremy scolded her. "That's weird. Suzy's trained her so well," he explained in confusion.

I gave him a flat look. "I see. Suzy trained her," I sarcastically responded. _Even when she's not home, Suzy still has to make my love life miserable? If she doesn't get some help soon, she could become like that evil babysitter who tortures a 10-year-old boy with a silly pink hat on this cartoon show I saw on TV years ago. Although I heard that boy's magic goldfishes secretly make his life better, no one ever seemed to realize the babysitter was evil._

I went into the kitchen to clean my shoe with some paper towels off the rolling rack. Suddenly, the poodle came in and grabbed my shoe. I chased her around the kitchen, through the hallways, and into the bathroom. She held my shoe over the open toilet bowl. I gasped at her threat. "Don't even think about it," I warned her with great anger. But then, I noticed the paper towels that have been stuck on my foot was wrapped all around the house. _What would Jeremy think if he thought I messed up the house?_ In a panic, I pulled all the paper towels towards me and into the toilet. I flushed the toilet, but with all those paper towels in there, it was slowly backing up. "Where's my shoe?" I asked the dog. She responded by looking at the toilet bowl. I realized she dropped it into the bowl while I was gathering the towels. "No, no, no!" I panicked. I grabbed a nearby plunger and plunged the toilet a few times. The results? The clean toilet water shot out into my face like a miniature baking soda volcano, while my shoe fell onto the floor. I looked like a complete mess! I should be thankful that the water was clean, though. Defeated, I snuck out of Jeremy's house without him noticing a thing, leaving my shoe behind._ That poodle is a demon! I swear! If I see another animal today, I don't know what I'll do!_

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><p>I returned home to the backyard in time to see Phineas and Ferb's latest machine: an animal translator. It looked like a large tape recorder the same size as me. It had a microphone, a single speaker, and a few headsets. The boys quickly left with the Fireside girls to fulfill the requests of the neighbors' pets, some of which stayed in the backyard with me. <em>They've built an animal translator? I am so sick of animals!<em> I had the mind to insult every animal on this planet after what Suzy's dog did to me today! "I- I-," I stuttered. But I just couldn't do it. There was a familiar face in my mind, Perry. I realized that if I insulted the animals, I'd be insulting Perry, and I couldn't do that to him. Sure, I hate how he used to show up in my bed uninvited some mornings, and he'd still had that disgusting platypus smell even after a bath, but I couldn't do it. Perry is the only animal I know who loves me for who I am. He wouldn't leak on my shoes even if I were to put him through a thousand humiliating dresses. Finally, I collapsed to my knees and buried my face into my hands as I cried and cried at the thought of nearly insulting him, especially after I've learned he was a secret agent and promised him not to tell anyone else for fear of him leaving forever.

As I cried, the last animal I wanted to see approached me: a squirrel. Normally, I would be terrified of them after what Suzy did to me on my date with Jeremy the day Kermillian's Comet passed by Earth. I was getting ice cream for all three of us when Suzy secretly threw an acorn into my pants, which lead to two squirrels scurrying into my pants. I went into a terrified state of erratic motions trying to get the critters out. Eventually, they got out but I was still horrified. When an unsuspecting Jeremy asked what happened, Suzy pulled out a squirrel, scaring me away. Thank goodness, that didn't discourage Jeremy to continue hanging out with me. On the bright side, the experience of having squirrels in my pants led to two street performers to believe I was doing a crazy dance called S.I.M.P. (Squirrels in My Pants); it has gotten popular among the performers and their friends.

Anyway, the squirrel that approached me chattered like it wanted to comfort me. I was too sad to freak out. I looked at the machine. After thinking for a moment, I went over and put on a head set. I used it to explain to the animals my troubles today. Some of the animals knew about Suzy and her tricks, so they sympathized with me.

Soon, I changed the subject to forget about her. I told the animals that I am very fast; I was in the cross-country club last school year. Just then, I had an idea. I could give these animals a cardio run through town. It would be good for their exercise and health. The animals tried to talk me out of it. A sly thought came to my mind as I removed the headset. I then insulted them for being too slow. A big dog spoke into the microphone and his gruff voice came out of the main speaker, "Get her!" And the chase was on!

The animals chased me through town for a while as I keep cheering, "Burn those calories, Burn those calories!" Suddenly, time seemed to slow down for me as I heard rushing water coming from my right. In a second, I look in that direction and spotted a platypus in a fedora fighting an evil scientist wearing a lab coat; Perry and Dr. Doofenshmirtz were battling each other again on a boat being carried by the oncoming water. I avoided the water just in time, although my animal marathoners were washed onto the boat. _Darn, I guess Cardio is over. I just hope they get back home safely._

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><p>When I got home, I found Mom on the living room couch. I was so excited from what just happened today that I had to show Mom the machine. I dragged her out into the backyard and for once, the Mysterious Force didn't caused Perry's and Doof's battles to make the machine disappear!<p>

"Hi Mom," Phineas greeted. "We've built an animal translator. Okay Perry, we've been waiting all day for this." _Finally, I get to show Mom that the boys are such incredible inventors… Wait, Perry? Oh no, what have I done? What if he says something that will expose his double life as a secret agent?_ Before I could change anyone's mind, Perry chattered into the microphone. Unexpectedly, the speaker just repeated Perry's meaningless chatter.

"Oh well," Phineas said. "I guess it doesn't mean anything"

"Oh honey," Mom reassured. "You know he's saying, 'You guys are the best!' Now, come inside for some snacks." The kids followed inside, leaving me alone with Perry and the translator. I let out a great sigh of relief.

After making sure no one would eavesdrop and shutting off the main speaker, I smiled and put on a headset. "Perry?" I questioned. "Did you literally say just your chattering sound to avoid being exposed?"

He smiled. "Yes, yes I did." His voice was calm, cool, and collected with a light Australian accent, no doubt because his species originated from Australia. _Coolness!_

Soon, we briefly explained how our day has been. I told him about my unsuccessful date with Jeremy and my Cardio workout with the animals. He told me about Doof's latest evil scheme. Doof attempted to flood Danville, so that people would buy "his latest invention" that has already been invented: boats. _To think, Dr. D invented something that he must have never seen before; perhaps not even in his childhood back home in __Gimmelshtump; and he__ believes it's pronounced "BO-AT"? How ridiculous!_ Perry defeated him by opening the moat around Danville causing the rushing water to completely miss the city.

After our exchange was over, Perry pointed out how this translator could work for us with a few modifications. He asked me to give him a few hours to work on it. While keeping the household unaware, I watched as Perry used one of his lair entrances and lowered the machine underground and out of sight.

As I left the backyard, Jeremy showed up to return my shoe I left behind. As he placed it on my foot, I felt like Cinderella and fainted with joy. I realized, there and then, that no matter what dirty trick Suzy tries on me, Jeremy will always think I'm cute and possibly the One. This day has been perfect for me and him after all.

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><p>Later that night, Perry came to my bedroom and handed me the modified translator. It looked like a personal ear piece that I can wear in my ear and can be easily hidden behind my hair. I didn't worry though; it's very rare for my ears to be uncovered from behind my hair, even when I'm hanging upside down; so nobody should be able to see the translator. We called it the Personal Animal Translator, or P.A.T. for short. I tested it out and it worked; I could hear Perry's voice as he thinks towards me, even if he doesn't chatter. <em>Wow! Phineas, Ferb, and Perry astound me sometimes!<em>

Perry continued by showing me the special entrance to his lair he has secretly installed just for me. If there was one thing he'd learned while we had swapped bodies that one time, it was that I'm too big for the travel tubes. The secret entrance was hidden behind a special wall in the back of my closet, behind my clothes, the Jeremy shine I once built, and the doll house my brothers built for me after unintentionally breaking my toys. Perry instructed me to place my hand on the corner of the wall. When I did so, a hidden control panel appeared, showing me what was currently down in his lair. There was a flashing green light, signaling it was safe to go down without getting caught by his boss, Major Monogram. I followed Perry down.

What I saw in his lair was amazing. It was the kind of stuff that would cause Phineas' eyes to shine with excitement. Perry proceeded to tell me more about his agent life. It seems that in addition to battling Doof every day, he is also instructed to scan all of Doof's Inators with an auto-scan replication device hidden in his hat. The top scientists of the O.W.C.A. have been researching them to determine whether they've been getting smarter or dumber. (The Jury is still out at this point.) Perry finished explaining by telling me about the hidden function of his locket, which would one day be the key to saving Danville.

It has been a great day. Sure, Suzy's dog may have "ruffed" me up. But with me giving the animals of Danville a Cardio Workout, and the boys building something that Perry turned into a personal tool for me, I couldn't complain anymore.

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><p><strong>AN: So now you know how Candace has gotten that translator. It makes conversations between her and Perry easier to write. And for those of you who have seen "Across the Second Dimension", you should already know what is the hidden function of Perry's locket. ;-) Well, the next episode I plan to write will be my version of "Chronicles of Meap". Wish me luck.**

**Until next chapter, R&R. I am out! Peace!**


	4. Theme Song

**A/N: Hey everybody. I am back from my camping trip. I am resuming this story with a theme song as if this was a companion series to the original show. It is sung to Agent P's theme with the guys singing about Perry and ladies singing about Candace. Enjoy.**

**I don't own the original material of the Phineas and Ferb show. Disney does. Please Read and Review!**

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><p><strong>Spinoff Theme Song: Introducing the Fanfic Spinoff <strong>

**Male singers: **Doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-bah  
><strong>Female singers: <strong>Doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-bah  
><strong>M.S: <strong>Doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-bah  
><strong>F.S: <strong>Doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-bah  
><strong>(At same time) M.S: <strong>Perry! **F.S:** Candace!

**M.S:** He's a semi-aquatic egg-layin' mammal of action.  
>(Doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-bah, doo-bee-doo-bee-doo-bah)<br>**F.S: **She's a teenage girl whose brothers make Summer fun every day-ee-ay-ee-ay.  
>She's got focus with mad skill,<br>**M.S: **He's got a beaver tail and a bill.  
><strong>F.S: <strong>She keeps his secret mute  
><strong>M.S: <strong>As her brothers hear him say…  
>(<em>pause; Perry chatters<em>)

**All Singers: **They're Candace and Perry the Platypus!  
>(But you can call him Agent P)<br>Candace!  
>(I said you can call him Agent P)<br>Agent P!

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><p>As the song ends, the <strong><em>If Candace Knew<em>** logo drops down from the top. It resembles the original **_Phineas and Ferb_ **logo. However, the text says "If Candace Knew" in orange text. The capital "C" and "K" letters look just like Candace's head and long neck, respectively. The oval that the title sits on is Teal-colored to match Perry's fur instead of yellow. Finally, the oval is bordered with a red outline.

The underscore of "Everything's Better with Perry" plays softly throughout the rest of the scene.

Candace quickly signals Perry to go into Pet mode just before Phineas and Ferb appear on screen.

"Oh, there you are, Perry," Phineas says as he picks up the "mindless" monotreme in his arms.

"Phineas," Candace says with an ignorant smile. "You know he's just a platypus who doesn't do much"

"But we still love our pet like a brother." Ferb points out.

"Yes. Yes we do," responds a glad Candace, as she stands behind her brothers with her arms around their shoulders.

As the boys glances away, Perry winks and chatters at Candace. Via Candace's hidden Personal Animal Translator or P.A.T. is heard, "Thanks, Candace."

A final guitar cord plays, as more text appears at the bottom: **A fan fiction series by Wii Guy based on the hit Disney TV series.**

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><p><strong>AN: So there you have a theme song to go with this fanfic. Don't worry. I WILL write "Chronicles of Meap" soon. Wish me luck.**

**Until next chapter, R&R. I am out! Peace!**


	5. Chronicles of Meap part 1

**A/N: Finally after 3 months, here the chapter you've been waiting for. **

**I don't own Phineas and Ferb. Disney does. Please Read and Review!**

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><p><strong>Chronicles of Meap Part 1: Meeting Meap <strong>

**Candace's POV**

We are not alone. I've met some otherworldly visitors from outer space; one who's a friend and one who's a foe. It happened on the day of the Bango-ru convention. I was in the living room when Mom said a package came for me: my Bango-ru doll. It's a custom-made Japanese doll that were so in back then. Stacy and I made our own dolls online. After Mom left for the family antique store, I called Stacy on my cell. She just received her doll a few moments ago. It was a cross between a bunny and a bear, which she called a BunnyBear.

As I opened my package, I told Stacy, "I just got mine too. It's a cross between a cow and a frog. I'm calling him Señor Frowwg. Isn't he the cutest th-" I stopped when I saw my doll. It was horrendous, to put it mildly.

"Candace," Stacy responded. "What's going on?"

"I just discovered why cows and frogs don't date." I said with disappointment.

"Well, we'll still have fun at the Bango-Ru Convention today."

"I guess." After hanging up, I sighed deeply at the disappointing results of my doll. Something went wrong today already and Perry hasn't even been called into work yet.

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><p>Suddenly, I heard a crash out in the backyard. I stepped outside to see a small spaceship slightly bigger than Ferb in a state of wreckage and the lawn in a total mess. <em>First, my Bango-Ru doll is a failure. Now, the boys have wrecked the backyard!<em> "Hey Ferb," I said, imitating Phineas with annoyance. "I know what we're going to do today! Let's get ourselves in trouble by crashing our stupid toy in the backyard."

"Hi Candace," Phineas greeted. "It isn't a toy. It's a real live alien spaceship!"

I wasn't in the mood to believe him. "Oh good!" I said. "Because this isn't a cell phone; it's an inter-galactic authority alerter, which I'll use on you if you don't clean up this mess. What's with the spaceship anyway? Haven't you guys, you know, been there, done that?"

"We weren't planning on going into space. But if we did, I'm sure there's still a ton of cool stuff left to do."

"Yeah, well I'm all done with outer space. Never again!" I have been out in space before when the boys went to see the star they were given ownership of; it was actually an asteroid with an oxygen-fill atmosphere and a galactic milkshake bar with all kinds of friendly aliens from around the galaxy. I've also been Queen of Mars one day; it turned out the Martians were like science fair geeks who never discovered music before despite every part of their bodies being like musical instruments. Martians are so lame! "I'm going to stick with Earth, where I'm the one in charge of making sure people like you follow the rules."

To my surprise, a small creature the size of Perry approached me. It resembled a Bango-Ru doll, and it was the cutest thing I have ever seen since Little Perry, though probably not as cute as Isabella. "That's Meap." Phineas introduced.

_Must be some kind of robot the boys made._

"Meap" it responded.

"It talks?" I asked in surprise.

"Well, more than Ferb," Phineas answered. "'Meap' is pretty much the only thing he says."

Though Meap was cute, my mood didn't improve. "Well, you and your little Bango-robot better not show up at the convention and make me look bad." As I turned to leave, I stepped on Phineas' baseball launcher, firing a baseball out of the yard. "That's strike one," I warned. As I left to go meet up with Stacy, I heard Phineas say, "Hey, where's Perry?"

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><p><strong>Perry's POV<strong>

I was running in agent mode to go to my lair when I nearly bumped into Meap. I quickly went into pet mode until Meap left. As I put my fedora on, I looked back with some concern. _Right now, I only trust Candace with my double life._

When I entered my lair, Monogram gave me my mission with Carl, the intern, doing his arms. It was funny, but so unprofessional. According to Monogram's report, Heinz Doofenshmirtz has gotten hold of countless carpets for his scheme. I headed on my way to find that "Doofenshmirtz's evil is carpeted!"

As I blasted though into Doof's office, a mechanical hand grabbed and rubbed me on carpet until static electricity turned me into Puffy the Fuzzapus and stuck me on the wall. Doof then told me another one of his emotionally-scaring back-stories. To sum it up: There was a time while Doof was a child living in Gimmelshtump, Druelselstein, somewhere in Europe when his uncaring parents disowned him and he was raised by ocelots. During that time, he got a balloon at the carnival, drew an uncanny-looking face on it, sprayed long-lasting spray he created on it, and named him "Balloony", who became the only friend he ever had as a child. But one tragic night after Heinz was reluctantly allowed back into his family, Balloony floated away while Heinz was forced to be the lawn gnome. He never saw his friend again.

Even to this day, Doof believes he's still out there; the long-lasting spray he used guaranteed that. Today, he built the Static Electro-Amplif-Inator. He reasons that because balloons are drawn to static electricity, he would use the Inator to harness the static electric charges of all the carpets he's gotten a hold of to bring Balloony back. _Oh Heinz,_ I thought to myself,_ that's actually really sad that a balloon was your only friend back then. But I'm still going to have to foil you by day's end._

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><p><strong>Candace's POV<strong>

I caught up with Stacy on my bike on the way to the convention, with my doll in my pack and her doll in her bike basket. But before I could show her my doll of disaster in shame, Meap showed up.

"Oh, Candace!" Stacy said, mistaking Meap for my doll. "Look at it! It's so cute, I could die!"

"Meap" He responded.

"And it makes little noises. How did you do that?"

"Oh. Well…" I picked Meap up and decided to go with it. "Phineas and Ferb, you know?"

"Oh, they tricked it out for you, cool. Come on, let's go to the convention." Stacy pedaled off ahead of me.

I found myself throwing Señor Frowwg into the trash can behind me. "Your reign of terror has come to an end Señor Frowwg." As I followed Stacy, I thought I heard some magical-sounding chimes and smelled a burning object somewhere. But I shook it off, excited that my bad day was turning good.

* * *

><p>Soon, we were at the Bango-Ru convention, where all kinds of Bango-Ru merchandise were available. Unfortunately, while Stacy and I were browsing for some accessories, some security guards in costumes came up to me and started berating me for leaving Meap on the floor. They really started to blow things out of proportion, saying they could have been killed and that I was in a lot of trouble. Suddenly, Meap fired a rainbow blast from his mouth, leaving the guards in their underwear.<p>

Next thing I knew, I was kicked out and banned from all Bango-Ru conventions. _First, my online doll was ugly; then, the boys wrecked the yard with their spaceship; and now I am banned from all future conventions? Ugh! This is the worst day ever!_ I then rode on my way home, shouting "You can't ban me from Bango-Ru conventions for life. I ban myself!" I looked at Meap in anger. "What kind of toy are you, anyway?" But then, I remember what Phineas said, "It isn't a toy. It's a real live alien spaceship!"

I smiled with some joy. "You're not a toy. You're a real live alien!" Soon, the boys and Isabella arrived in Meap's ship. Not only did the boys fix it, but Ferb tricked it out so it looked like an inter-galactic race car.

"Hey Candace," Phineas called from the passenger's seat. "Looks like you've found Meap."

"More like, he found me." I responded.

"Well, his ship is fixed, so he can get back to his family now"

But suddenly, Meap's ship, with the kids on board, was caught in a tractor beam by what appeared to be a space cop's ship. They disappeared into the sky. "Wait!" I cried. "Come back!" _When I said I'd call the authorities, I didn't mean it!_ I looked at Meap. "Who was that?"

Meap pulled out a photo of some one of his species. The subject had a mustache, and wore a red hood. There was some alien writing on the bottom of the photo. At first, I thought that was possibly Meap's father. But when Meap pulled out another photo with the same subject taken from the side, I realized it was a mug shot.

The realization hit me like Perry's punches on Doof. "Oh no! Phineas and Ferb have been abducted by an inter-galactic criminal!"

"Meap" he confirmed sadly.

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><p><strong>AN: That's the end of Part 1. We'll conclude this next chapter. And I definitely WON'T take another 3 months. **

**Until next chapter, R&R. I am out! Peace!**


	6. Chronicles of Meap part 2

**A/N: Hey guys. Being back in school has put a damper on my updates, but here's the conclusion to "****_Chronicles of Meap_****" Thanks for all your patience! **

**I don't own Phineas and Ferb. Disney does. Please Read and Review!**

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><p><strong>Chronicles of Meap Part 2: Foiling Mitch <strong>

**Candace's POV**

The boys and Isabella have been kidnapped! I hurried home to the backyard trying to come up with an explanation for when Mom would come home. I practiced my story with Meap. "Hi, Mom. Phineas and Ferb have been abducted by an evil alien and I'm here with another alien who isn't his son and…" I looked at Meap. "How does that sound so far?" Meap just stared back. "I agree: crazy! What are we going to do?" It was a great disadvantage that my P.A.T. ear piece could only translate for animals that came from Earth. Meap couldn't tell me directly what was on his mind.

Meap went to pick up Phineas' baseball launcher and brought it over to me. At first, I thought he wanted to play ball, but he pulled out photos of the boys and the evil alien from nowhere, trying to tell me something. It was tricky to understand, but eventually I had the gist of what he was saying. The kids were taken to some spaceship that was high up in the sky. "But how are we going to get up there?" I asked. Meap used the baseball launcher to remote control the baseball through the air and pointed at the tires of my bike. "That's it!" I realized.

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><p>Soon, I attached several baseballs to the tires of my bike. I placed Meap into the front basket and allowed him to take control of the baseball launcher. As I pedaled forward, the baseballs lifted the bike into the sky. All too quickly, my fear of heights started to kick in. <em>No! I have to do this to save Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella!<em> The thought of them in trouble gave me the focus and courage to get up there and help them!

Eventually, we approached what looked like a small cloud. But it was no cloud; it was a giant space station! After successfully getting on board, I noticed how mysterious the interior was. "Wow, check this place out! Well, now I know how to find Phineas and Ferb: They'll be where the cool stuff is." I stepped up to one of the windows. It was some kind of alien biosphere. Sure enough, there they were: the kids riding on top of a whale-like alien. "Ka-Ching!" I turned towards Meap. "Okay, I'll go and get them, you stay here; this could get dangerous." I went through the door and was amazed to see all the alien flora and fauna. Some of them were dangerous, a few were cool and friendly, but most of them were downright weird. It wasn't going to be easy, but I had to get the kids. _I wonder what Perry's doing right now. I wished he could have stick around to see all this action!_

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><p><strong>Perry's POV<strong>

While still sticking onto Doof's carpeted wall, I watched as Doof went behind a screen to change outfits as he continued to lecture. "So you know when you walk around in socks and rub them across the carpet, you get that little static shock?" He jumped back out from behind the screen dressed up in some outfit made entirely out of socks. "Behold, the new uniform of pure evil! I call it the socky-shocky-suity." Soon he was rubbing his suit all over the carpets until he built a charge so strong, you can actually see the electric jolts.

"There" Doof finished, looking at his static-charged finger. "Now watch as every balloon in the entire Tri-State area is ripped from the hands of children, clowns, and... clown-children!" As I gave him the "you won't get away with this" glare, he grabbed the controls of the Inator. _You Doofus!_ I silently thought towards him. _You've forgotten that metal conducts electricity!_ Sure enough, he received a very nasty shock as the Inator powered on. Despite that, a huge electric wave spread across the city, ripping balloons from the hands of children, clowns, and clown-children.

In seconds, so many balloons, including some from the Bango-Ru convention, were clinging to the Inator. The static charge got so strong that pulled both Doof in his socky-shocky-suity and me as Puffy the Fuzzapus into the balloon collection. With the combined helium of all those balloons, the Inator was literally ripped from the floor and floated high into the sky. "You know, on paper," Doof sighed. "This was the outcome, too."

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><p>Soon our ride crashed into a space station as Doof rolled in and I continued to cling to the balloons. As the balloons started to descend, I pulled out my grappling gun and fire up near the crash hole. Then, I unstuck myself as my fur went back to normal. As I climbed up, I overheard Doof talking to someone. From what Candace would tell me later, that someone was an inter-galactic poacher named Mitch. He has traveled the galaxy, stealing creatures from their homeworld.<p>

Apparently, Doof interrupted a showdown between Meap and Mitch. When Doof tried to leave the ship, he opened the door to an old familiar friend: Balloony. Evidently, Mitch found him floating all alone in space and captured him as the most unique creature in his collection, naming him "Colin" and his best friend. Doof protested, saying he actually drew his face while pointing at his signature as evidence.

"That's a birthmark," Mitch countered.

"It's a balloon, you idiot!" Doof gestured for Balloony to follow. "Come on Balloony, Let's scoot!" But Balloony didn't follow.

"See?" Mitch boasted. "Colin is my best friend!"

"You've changed, Balloony!" said a hurt Heinz. "And I thought you were back-story-worthy. It makes me sick! Well, I don't even need you anymore. Yeah, I've got an even better best friend. He's a really good listener; he even put up with me going on about how great you were! Ha!"

By this time, I finally climbed in. I knew where Dr. D's speech was going and was honestly moved. But I still owed him a knuckle sandwich for turning me into a puffball. As he stated his new best friend was me, I punched him out of the ship. For a few moments, I looked towards Meap. _So, you're like the "me" of the galaxy._ Finally, I jumped out, rescuing Heinz and taking him home. _I sure hope the big alien didn't give Candace and the boys any trouble._

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><p><strong>Candace's POV<strong>

Eventually, the kids went back out into the corridor, where they were surrounded by small hovering robots. I pulled out Phineas' baseball launcher and took out all the robots with remote-controlled balls. "Strike three, they're out!" I delivered a cool one-liner.

"Whatever happened to strike two?" Phineas asked.

"Where's Meap?" I changed the subject. "I told him to wait right here."

Phineas pulled out a device called a Cute-Tracker. The boys have been using it to find Meap earlier. "I'm having trouble picking up his cute signal," he reported.

Isabella was looking distressed. No doubt she was trying to tell Phineas that she was cute and Phineas was obliviously ignoring her. "Phineas," she said. "Since you obviously won't figure this out on your own, I think I'm the one causing the cute interference." Phineas pointed out that he took into account her cuteness and adjusted the settings accordingly. Sure enough, when he tried to set it back to normal, Isabella's cuteness shorted it out.

Suddenly, the inter-galactic criminal stepped into the room with Meap locked in a clear glass containment unit.

"Hi, Mitch," Phineas greeted.

I aimed my empty baseball launcher at the villain. "Get away from him, Mitch!" I threatened. Mitch called in more robots to trap us. As Mitch was gloating that he now had the upper hand, I noticed a single baseball on the floor behind him. I had an idea. If there was one of the few things I've learned from Agent P, it's to take advantage of a villain too busy giving a monologue to notice. Carefully, I controlled the baseball to hit the open switch on Meap's prison. At first, I expected him to run and hide, but Meap got up, destroyed the robots with his rainbow breath, and battle Mitch to the floor. After tying up Mitch's hands, he ripped off his mustache, rendering him to say only "Meap." I was amazed. _He fights like Agent P,_ I thought silently.

Meap placed the mustache on his own face. It turned out to be a universal translator. Meap's very neutral face turned very expressive and his voice sounded like Lorenzo Lamas. "Children, thank you for your help in bringing down this villainous scoundrel. You see, I am an inter-galactic security agent who roams the universe, making sure people follow the rules."

"You're like the 'me' of the galaxy," I smiled. "I guess there was more to you than _meaps_ the eye. After all, if there's one thing I learned from…an old friend of mine, it's to never judge a book by its cover." Out of nowhere, a large alien blob with many eyes came in. "Ahh, an alien monster!" I screamed. "Get to the ship!"

"Actually, that's my mother-in-law," Meap responded. "So she's correct. Let's get out of here!" Quickly, Meap, the kids, and I all got into Meap's tricked-out ship and headed home. Before he left, Meap brought back my bike. As we watched Meap leave, I thought to myself, _you know, despite the bad day I've had with the Bango-Ru convention, I actually got to feel what it's like to be like Agent P: foiling a villain and saving those close to me! It's actually cool. Wait 'till I tell him!_

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><p><strong>AN: There! I finished it. Happy?**

**I can't make any promises for when the next chapter will be here. But I got the outline laid out in my mind. Once again, thanks for all your patience.**

**Until next chapter, R&R. I am out! Peace!**


	7. Oh, There You Are, Perry

**A/N: Finally, winter semester has ended, next week is Spring Break for me, and I finally got to finish a new chapter for this story after almost 5 months. This is the episode adaptation of one of my most favorite, heart-warming episodes with an original backstory of a character mentioned in the show's episode, "It's About Time!" **

**I don't own Phineas and Ferb. Disney does. Please don't forget to review. I'll take any feedback to see how you like it.**

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><p><strong>Oh, There You Are, Perry: Missing Perry (and Bucky)<strong>

**Perry's POV**

Candace and I have become such good friends once again since she'd learned I was Agent P and decided to cover for me behind everyone's backs. But that doesn't mean we didn't have angry moments with each other from time to time. Take the day I was reassigned to another evil villain, for instance.

It was night time and the boys were asleep. It's gotten to the point when I would switch beds from Phineas to Ferb. I was just about to fall asleep peacefully in Ferb's arm when my watch beeped "_code red_". _What could it be at this hour?_

As I headed downstairs and through the living room, a sleepy Candace tripped over me, spilling water over both me and her. "You!" she exclaimed angrily at me. Just to be safe in case any cameras were watching, I went into pet mode and chattered innocently at her.

She grabbed me and took me outside to the backyard. She then quietly but angrily said, "Look Perry, I don't care what you're doing in the middle of the night. Just DON'T BUG ME!" She went back inside with a huff. With her hair all tied up and her face in a mud mask, she seemed scary enough. Yet, she took it to a new level being cranky from having too many peach and pumpernickel sandwiches before bed.

It was a good thing she wasn't wearing her translator at the time, because I slapped on my fedora and mocked her, "_Just DON'T BUG ME!" This better be important for Monogram to call me down in the middle of the night. Candace and I are already cranky enough as is._

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><p><strong>Candace's POV<strong>

The next morning, I got dressed and pull out P.A.T. from a secret compartment in my closet. It became a habit for me to put the translator in my ear on a daily basis in case Perry needed me to cover for him. I went downstairs to the kitchen and had cereal with soymilk (The kind for people who have allergies to dairy products).

"Good morning, Candace." Phineas sadly greeted me.

"What's so great about it?" I was still a little crabby from the poor night sleep I had.

"Not much. We can't find Perry anywhere. He's never missed breakfast, not even once."

The first thing that ran through my mind was, _Perry must have gone to Doofenshmirtz's early today._ But I thought about the night before. At the time, I didn't have a clear memory of what I did or said. _Or was it because I said something that has gotten his feelings hurt and he's decided to run away? Nah, it couldn't be._

Nervously, I decided to reassure the boys. "Well, maybe he just wandered off. Doesn't he always wander off at some point of the day? A-And later, when he comes back, you say, 'Oh, there you are Perry!' and he says, 'Krrrrr'?" I asked, putting on my best mindless platypus stare and chatter.

"Yeah, but he's always here in the morning. I'd be devastated if something happened to him."

As I watched the boys go back upstairs to look again for Perry, I noticed something was missing from the floor. _Hey! Where's Perry's food bowl?_ As I looked through the window to the backyard, time slowed to a stop. Out in the backyard was Agent P. He was wearing his fedora and jetpack, carrying his food bowl and a bindle sack, and was looking depressed. Without saying a word, he flew away on his jetpack.

Without thinking, I ran out of the house and tried to follow Perry. I quickly lost him and realized that he wasn't going towards Doofenshmirtz's. _Where did you go, Perry? Wait! That bindle sack! He's actually running away! And it's my fault! I have to find him! I don't want lose another pet! Please, Perry! At least, you didn't die like Bucky!_

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><p><strong>Perry's POV<strong>

I didn't have the heart to tell Candace I was being relocated. Due to the behavior of a villain from the Quad-State Area called The Regurgitator, Doof has been downgraded to a minor threat. Monogram believed I shouldn't have my talents wasted on a minor threat. Because there were no other villains in the Tri-State Area I could have been reassigned to, I was being relocated to a host family in the Quad-State Area and reassigned to The Regurgitator as his new nemesis.

I never had a chance to see the new host family in person, as I headed immediately to The Regurgitator's hideout in the middle of the Quad-State Area Desert. I made my way down to his lair deep underground. On the outside, his lair looked like a run-down building with a big dumb-looking man as the receptionist, but on the inside deep underground was an entire lair of expensive-looking technology. _All this technology and yet they can't afford a throw pillow or two for soft landings at the end of the travel tubes._

I was quickly captured in a containment unit with a break-proof window and my wrists were shackled above me. The Regurgitator appeared screaming his name to the heavens and having his own dramatic lighting and thunder effect.

He spoke to me as if I had asked him, "What's your evil plan?"

"No, little platypus," he said calmly, but with occasional shouts. "I won't tell you MY evil plans like I did with my LAST nemesis a few years AGO!" He went back to working on his machine quietly.

As I stood there trapped, I thought about Candace and the boys. _I know you'll look after the boys, Candace. Bucky would have wanted that._

* * *

><p><strong>Candace's account of Bucky and Perry's backstory<strong>

Before Ferb and his dad became our stepfamily and Perry became our pet, Phineas and I had Bucky. He was a dog of a breed I can't quite determine. Much like how Perry is Phineas and Ferb's best friend now, Bucky was MY best friend back then. I found him as a stray when I was a little girl. We used to play all the time. Until one day after the marriage of my mom and Ferb's dad, it happened.

Kindly Old Man Simmons was watching Bucky while we were out. I don't know the whole story, but I do know that something terrible has happened to Simmons and Bucky and we would never see them again. Phineas and Ferb were still very young at the time, and so to spare them the pain, our parents told them a little white lie that Bucky got sick and went to live on Simmons' farm. We then went to the pet store to get a new pet.

**(Read Chapter 2 of **_**If Candace Knew: Across the 2**__**nd**__** Dimension**_** for Perry's adoption scene)**

The night we first brought Perry home, I was smiling for my brothers' sake. But after everyone has gone to sleep, I pulled out a photo of Bucky and little me from a hidden compartment in my Ducky Momo Plush doll and started to cry. The bedroom door opened to Platypup Perry. "Oh, hello, Perry," I half-heartily greeted him. _I hope him coming into my room without permission won't become a habit for him._

When Perry saw Bucky's photo, he actually started crying. At the time, I was amazed our new pet was crying like a little boy who's lost his teacher. The rational part of my mind said I should be questioning how an animal that doesn't do much is crying like a human would, but I didn't care. We both cried over the loss of our friend Bucky until we fell asleep together. I was so depressed that I blocked out the fact that Perry was acting more than a "do-nothing" animal from my mind. I wouldn't remember that moment until the events at Badbeard Lake. It was like a bad dream and now on this summer day, it's happening again: the loss of a pet and best friend.

* * *

><p><strong>Perry's account of Bucky<strong>

Like me, Bucky was also a member of the O.W.C.A. It started one day shortly after he was found by Little Candace. While home alone, Bucky taught himself how to stand up on his own hind legs in the backyard. Instantly, the ground opened below him, sending him down to what is now my lair. Monogram appeared on screen, told Bucky the Agency was watching him, and offered him the option of becoming an agent. He accepted.

When not playing with Little Candace, Bucky would spend his agent life training new recruits. I was one of them. From birth through platypus puberty, I was trained by the best agent in Monogram's division. It was a huge honor, and Bucky taught me everything like he was my own father.

But then just as my training was complete, Bucky and his pet sitter, Kindly Old Man Simmons, mysteriously disappeared. Since Bucky was said to have been on an unauthorized mission, even O.W.C.A had no clue what has happened to them.

On the day I was adopted by my first host family, I didn't suspect I would end up being adopted by my mentor's host family. When I first saw Young Candace, I felt a touch of destiny. That first night, I nearly revealed my double life to her. I couldn't stop crying when I saw the photo she was looking at: Little Candace and Bucky. Luckily, she repressed the memory until that fateful day at Badbeard Lake. Back then, I made a promise to protect the Flynn-Fletchers for Bucky's sake.

While I don't know what has transpired, I do know Bucky's and Simmons' ultimate fate. Earlier this summer, my family and I went to the Museum of Natural History. There I discovered Bucky's and Simmons' fossilized remains among the Pre-historic Fossils Exhibit. The boys quickly forgot about the awkward presentation when they saw the Gadgets through the Ages Exhibit. It was a good thing Candace had no interest in the museum and never saw her old pet's fossil. It would crush her to see what'd happened to him. So for her sake, I kept Bucky's ultimate fate as my own secret, even from the O.W.C.A.

It felt like history was repeating itself as I was now being held captured in The Regurgitator's trap. I wished something would happen that would free me and allow me to go home to Candace and the boys.

* * *

><p><strong>Candace's POV<strong>

I spent all day desperately looking for Perry. I even mistook a woman's pet beaver for him. Eventually, I gave up and sat on the stone walls of Danville Park. Depressed, I started reminiscing about the first month Perry was with us; that month right in between his adoption and his becoming old enough to be assigned to Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

Believe it or not, I tried to recapture the wonderful, playful moments I had with Bucky through Perry. We did dress-ups, tug-of-wars, and I would let him ride on my back (instead of the other way around with Bucky). I was happy again until Perry quickly matured into an adult platypus and started disappearing every day during the summer months. That's when Perry and I started to become more and more distant until I turned 13, when I started to actually call him useless and smelly. Finding out why he disappeared every day and keeping his secret helped made us friends again.

_And now he's gone. I…I…I have to tell the boys the truth; that he's gone because of me._

* * *

><p>As I sat there considering my decision, I heard music.<em> Aw, Perry loved music. During that first month, he would chatter happily to Phineas' xylophone.<em> But I slowly realized it WAS Phineas singing with real music coming from the roof of a tall building in Downtown Danville. I followed the source as everyone in earshot gathered around the building.

_Perry, you know you are a boy's best friend  
>You're more than just a passing trend<br>You're like a treat from a candy store_

_Oh, Perry, we love you more than ice cream cakes  
>We love you more than bugs and snakes<br>We love you more than all things mentioned before_

I climbed up the stairs of the building as my brothers and their friends continued singing the song and playing their instruments together.

_Oh, Perry, you're extraordinary  
>You're kinda short and hairy<br>The color of a blueberry  
>Yes, Perry!<em>

_So, come home, Perry  
>Come home, Perry, come home<em>

By this point, I arrived on the roof. I still considered telling them the truth. But first, Phineas offered me to sing a verse for Perry to come home. I hesitated at first, but sang with more and more confidence as the song went on.

_Oh, Perry  
>I think it's kind of scary<br>I can't find you anywhere-y  
>It fills me with despair-y<em>

_Oh, Perry  
>I'm allergic to dairy<br>I'm gonna move to the Prairie  
>And change my name to Larry<em>

Phineas stopped the song to ask, "Larry?"

"I ran out of rhymes, alright?" I said in my defense. The song resumed, with everyone around the building singing.

_She'll change her name to Larry  
>Larry<br>Larry_

My brothers and I sang together; probably for the first time since they were one-hit wonders.

_So, come home, Perry  
>Come home, Perry, come home<em>

_So, come home, Perry  
>Come home, Perry, come home<em>

_Come home, Perry, come home_

Just as the song ended, I heard a voice I never thought I'd hear again through P.A.T. "Apology accepted, Larry"

I looked down behind me and there was Perry; down on all fours, eyes staring, and chattering a noise that only I could understand!

Without thinking, I said, "Oh, there you are, Perry." My brothers and all their friends embraced Perry in a hug so endearing, the scene was like _the _page image of heartwarming moments!

Stunned, I thought, _Perry? You're back? But I thought…_ Out loud, I smiled and said, "Welcome home."

* * *

><p><strong>Perry's POV<strong>

That night, I told Candace my story in her room. Her room is one of the safe places where we could talk to each other without the secret getting out

Believe it or not, it was Heinz Doofenshmirtz that ended up saving the day! When he found out he was downgraded to a minor threat because of The Regurgitator, he made his way to the villain's lair and ended up becoming an intern to him. Doof accepted because of maternity leave.

Despite loving the job at first, Doof was upset when he found out his boss planned to destroy me without even telling me the evil scheme. He pointed out, "Where's the fun in that?" He also declared that I was HIS nemesis. When asked if he had a nemesis, The Regurgitator declared with lightning and thunder that the WORLD was his nemesis!

It all came to a head when Doof stood up to The Regurgitator for not giving him respect for what Doof did for him: inventing rocket boots that happened to match my foot size so the boss could reach the high-shelf files and installing a self-destruct button that he's forgotten. At this point, it was counting down from 1 minute and 30 seconds.

Doof sheepishly confessed he might have pressed it by mistake, but at least didn't hit the release button he installed inside my cage. I didn't know how he managed to do that without me noticing, but I pressed it. I was released from my cage.

Thinking quickly, I threw my food bowl to hit a switch. It caused the giant vacuum tube above The Regurgitator to suck him up and blow him all the way back to Danville. I then used the rocket boots to escape with Doof before the lair exploded.

Monogram called me, saying The Regurgitator landed in their prison. He then told me Doof is my nemesis again and that I could return to the Flynn-Fletchers. I dropped Doof off onto a throw pillow, where he smiled and declared we do it right. I arrived home in Danville just in time to hear Candace's verse.

* * *

><p>After hearing my story, Candace was so relieved! She told me she wouldn't get mad at me again unless I really messed up.<p>

"By the way," she said. "Your disappearance today made me thought about…our old friend." She held up a familiar photo: Little Candace and Bucky.

"Really?" I responded. "I… was thinking about him too." I was a little nervous, feeling like I was going to have to tell her.

Candace smiled. "Well, I just know that wherever he is, he is proud of the both of us; proud that I am keeping your secret and that you are protecting us."

I slowly smiled and looked at the photo with her. We started crying. But this time, with tears of joy, not grief.

Finally, Candace put the photo and P.A.T. away in the closet. "Goodnight, Perry" she said, as she fell asleep.

_The fact that Bucky is now an exhibit is still my secret. I wonder if I should tell her. Nah, she's moved on! And her knowing isn't necessary. _I chattered,_ Goodnight, Candace._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I owe my inspiration for the parts about Bucky to Rashuanu's artwork from devianART: "Little Candace and Bucky" and "Goodbye old Friend". Rashuanu, I kept my promise to you!**

**I plan to briefly jump ahead to near late Season 2 and do "Wizard of Odd" next. There's something I want Candace to learn about herself. I have all of Spring Break next week to do so. Let's hope this year I'm not hit by a "Writer's Block ray". I'm talking to you, Heinz.**

**Until next chapter, R&R. I am out! Peace!**


	8. Wizard of Odd part 1

**A/N: Well Guys, Here's part 1 of **_**Wizard of Odd**_**. It's Thursday of my Spring Break as I finish this chapter. Hopefully, I'll get part 2 done by the end of the week. Wish me luck and enjoy!**

**I don't own Phineas and Ferb. Disney does. Please don't forget to review. I'll take any feedback to see how you like it.**

* * *

><p><strong>Wizard of Odd Part 1: Following the Yellow Sidewalk<strong>

**Candace's POV**

It had been a short while since I've learned Perry's a secret agent and given up busting my brothers. Though, I've had fun with my brothers and their Big Ideas over the first several days since then, I still felt…a little inferior to my brothers' skills. Until one day when Perry and I would end up in the Land of Odd.

It happened on the day the boys decided to wash the house while Mom was out doing her usual errands. I was lying down on my bed in my room. I stared up at Jeremy's framed photo on the ceiling above my bed when suddenly, "Hey, Candace!"

I nearly fell off my bed, as the source of the voice came from my bedroom window overlooking the backyard. "Buford, Baljeet," I reacted in surprise. "What do you want?" I asked the bully and nerd just outside my window.

"What, like in a metaphysical sense?" asked Buford. "Nothing, I'm good."

"I want to be cool," answered Baljeet.

"That's not going to happen," replied Buford.

I corrected, "I mean, what are you doing in my room?"

"Ferb said we're about to clean the house," Buford responded. "You can join us if you want."

"No thank you," I said with uncertainty. The boys went back down to the backyard.

Wistfully, I looked down at the book by my side. Before Mom left for her errands, she told me I should do a little reading and gave me her favorite book, _The Wizard of Oz_. With a sigh, I said, "Which will it be? Read this book I have little interest in or wipe down Perry's platypus plaza play set?"

"Oh, you're definitely reading that book!" chuckled a voice through P.A.T.

"Perry?" I turned around in surprise to see the platypus at my door. "What are you doing here? I thought you were out battling Dr. D."

"Oh, he has foiled himself today! Sometimes, his lack of common sense makes my mission too easy and quick." Perry explained. "So, I was given the rest of the day off. With your permission, can I rest on your comfy bed?"

With a slight care-free tone, I allowed it. "Perry, with brothers like Phineas and Ferb, sometimes I feel…unworthy. I wish I could do what they can do." I confessed to our secret agent pet.

Perry tried to comfort me as I reluctantly picked up the book and started reading, "Blah, blah, 'Dorothy,' blah, blah, 'Kansas.'" _Huh? I might have been named after a state!_

I was uninterested in the book until I discovered there's a cyclone coming toward Dorothy's farmhouse. My interest was caught, as I felt like I was really in the book. Suddenly, the room started spinning around and around. As Perry held on to the bed posts, I fell onto the floor. I heard Perry shouted, "Hold on, Candace!" before I passed out.

* * *

><p>When I opened my eyes, Perry was on top of me. He chattered, but for some reason, P.A.T. couldn't translate. I guessed he must have said, "Are you okay, Candace?"<p>

I got up saying, "Yes, I'm fine, Perry." Confused, I pulled out P.A.T. from my ear. "Strange, it doesn't look broken. Maybe I should take it down to your lair for repairs." I attempted to take my secret entrance to Perry's lair in my closet, but for a very strange reason, the lair was not found.

Baffled, Perry and I went out into the backyard to see that the house had ended up in an odd land where the skies were more pinkish than blue and familiar-looking residents live. For reference, I shall call the inhabitants by the name of whomever they look like.

"Perry," I responded. "I don't think we're in Danville anymore."

The locals, looking like this world's version of the Fireside Girls called Patchkins, welcomed us and thanked me for dropping our house onto Little Witch Suzy. Sure enough, I saw a pair of feet that wore red, rubber boots sticking out from under the house. Her cries from underneath indeed sounded like Suzy back home, and yet I knew that wasn't the real Suzy. _Well, this is what she gets for making me afraid of squirrels!_

Soon, a cute witch who looked like Isabella arrived to welcome us as well. After that, a green-skinned witch (who insists that he's a warlock) that looked like Dr. Doofenshmirtz appeared. He was after the red rubber boots that Suzy had, but Izzy magically put them on my feet instead. She said Doof had no power in this part of Odd. Doof warned me I couldn't stay in Patchkin Land forever. "I'll get you and your little platypus too!"

Even without P.A.T., I could tell Perry growled some angry words back at the witch/warlock. With that, Doof unceremoniously left.

"Where are Phineas and Ferb?" I asked Isabella.

Suddenly, the whole background dropped down to reveal them. "Have fun, Candace." Phineas said, before pulling the background back up and disappearing.

_Okay, now I definitely know we're not in Danville! That trick was impossible, even for my brothers. Somehow, Perry and I must have landed on some far-off world where the inhabitants look and sound like the people we know back home. Those "Phineas and Ferb" characters must have taken on the appearance of my brothers to make me feel more comfortable._

"Where'd they go?" I asked Isabella.

"They might have gone to the Summer Fun City," she answered. "That's where the Wizard of Odd lives."

My look of worry turned into one filled with hope. "Can the Wizard grant me a wish?" I asked.

"You bet'cha!"

Through song, Izzy and the Patchkins told me and Perry to follow the Yellow Sidewalk all the way there. Perry and I headed out toward the City, impressed by the song.

* * *

><p>Eventually, we passed by a cornfield to find a scarecrow that looked like Baljeet. He's a Nerdcrow. He told us he hangs in cornfields wedgie-style to keep the crows away. Despite having a brain that's big on Mathematics, he despaired that he's not cool.<p>

"Well, we're on our way to Summer Fun City to see the Wizard of Odd and get our wish granted." I explained.

"The Wizard?" responded a hopeful Baljeet. "Do you think the Wizard can also grant me a wish?"

"I don't see why not." I responded. "What is your wish?"

With the local crows as back-up dancers, Baljeet danced and sang about how he wanted to be cool! When he finished, I said, "Well, come along! I'm Candace and this is…Hey, where's Perry?"

Perry was gone and in his place was a note. Reading the condensed writing, I learned that this is all Perry had on him to write this message: "Go ahead to Summer Fun City with Baljeet. I'll catch up with you guys there." Though a little worried, I took Perry's word for it. He'd never steer me wrong before.

Soon, Baljeet and I followed the Yellow Sidewalk until we ran into… Phineas and Ferb. My brother guides showed us an alternative route to Summer Fun City: Riding unicorns through a candy forest.

_Well, it is getting tiring to walk. Yeah, why not?_

Our guides sent us off on a unicorn through the forest, saying that we shall meet again. On the way, Baljeet and I had some of the candy and even gathered up a long rope of it. Unfortunately, we had to stop when we reached a huge chasm separating us from the Yellow Sidewalk on the other side. There was tree branch hanging high above the middle of the chasm.

"How are we going to get across?" I asked.

Thinking hard, Baljeet calculated how much candy rope was needed to reach the branch. "I got all the rope we will need, but you will have to be the one to throw one end up to the tree branch. It requires focus."

With some doubt, I stood at the edge looking up at the target. I briefly closed my eyes and opened them as everything around me moved in slow-mo. With great focus, I threw the grappling part of the candy rope up to the branch. It wrapped around tight on the tree branch.

"I did it! Let's go!" I cheered as I grabbed Baljeet and swung across to the other side.

Baljeet congratulated me as we found ourselves back on the main Yellow Sidewalk heading towards Summer Fun City. We continued on our way.

* * *

><p>Eventually, we came across a rusted tin lumberjack. As I was looking for an oilcan, I heard a familiar voice, "Hey, could you leave the lumberjack alone. He's long gone."<p>

It was one of the trees talking. It had the face of Jeremy! We left the lumberjack behind, though I still thought about singing a song for him later in the end.

"Hey," I started. "Are you…"

"A tree?" Jeremy asked. "It's okay. I know I'm a tree."

I told him about our quest and asked if he had a wish the Wizard could grant.

Through a short, soft, and simple song, he sang about how he had a tree-related wish and would tell us what it could be once we get to Summer Fun City. I knew that it had to be "To not to be a tree anymore" but I played along. "Ooh, I can't wait." Some of us girls like a little mystery.

We all headed forward on the Yellow Sidewalk until we once again ran into my brothers. Instead of following the Sidewalk through a terrifying Beast Bog, we could take the alternative path they'd made: Roller-skating trough a non-dairy frozen ice cream canyon.

_No way we're going through a scary forest! Besides, I need roller-skating practice!_ We took the boys up on their offer. They gave us helmets, protective pads, and skates before leaving.

As we went on our way through the canyon, Jeremy taught me how to skate. His father was made into wooden skates, so he knew the basics. With him as my trainer, I felt safe and quickly became good at the sport. "Come on, Candace," Jeremy cheered. "You got the athletic skills for it!"

Soon, we all reached a half-pipe of ice cream and starting to do air tricks as we skated back and forth through it. I quickly found the courage to do higher and higher tricks in the air. Unfortunately, we all went too high and were heading way off course. We activated our parachutes that were inside our helmets and landed safely on the ground. It turned out we landed in the middle of the Beast Bog. Our skates were useless now, but luckily, we were on the Yellow Sidewalk heading in the right direction toward Summer Fun City.

* * *

><p>The bog was filled with scary-looking trees. But thankfully, we ran into a familiar character that looked like a mix between a lion, a tiger, and a bear. He had the voice of Buford. He sang towards the heavens that he wanted nothing, but I asked him to come along anyway.<p>

Soon, we met up with my brothers a third time. They had a blue bouncy sidewalk as a more fun route to Summer Fun City. Needless to say, we all took it.

As we bounced on our way, Buford challenged me to bounce higher than him. My competitive side took its chance to shine as Buford and I bounced higher. We were all having so much fun, it felt too good to last.

Suddenly out of the sky came a squadron of squirrels flying in bi-planes. They fired acorns at my friends, forcing them to retreat back into the bog. "Squirrels! Squirrels!" I involuntary chanted in fear, as the leader hooked me by rope and carried me away.

My brothers briefly bounced up to say that my flight by squirrels looks fun.

"I am not having fun!" I reacted. As the squirrels carried me to a familiar building, I shouted, "Perry! Where are you? I need to get back to the Yellow Sidewalk!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: As you P+F fans might have realized, I've had Candace take all the fun routes to her destination. She no longer seeks to bust, so I'm giving her a similar yet difference experience.**

**As for Perry, I'll have him narrate the entire 2****nd**** part. See you there!**

**Until next chapter, R&R. I am out! Peace!**


	9. Wizard of Odd part 2

**A/N: Before we continue our story, I want to say that when I saw **_**Oz: the Great and Powerful**_** weeks ago, I thought it was a good prequel even if Disney was forced to make it more like a prequel to the original books than to the well-known 1939 film; Warner Bros. still own the rights to the famous classic film.**

**Anyway, let's continue the story with our favorite platypus narrating. Oh, and don't forget to leave a review. I'd like to see what you think of it.**

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><p><strong>Wizard of Odd Part 2: Getting our Wishes Granted<strong>

**Perry's POV**

Once Doofenshmirtz the Wicked Witch/Warlock made that threat to Candace and me back in Patchkin Land, I made a promise to myself to keep Candace out of danger. As soon as Candace asked Baljeet the Nerdcrow to join us on our journey to Summer Fun City, I headed on my way to the villain's castle. I had to keep Doof from causing trouble. At least Candace was now travelling with a character I could trust.

It wasn't hard to find the castle. Linda has read the book to a young and curious Perry the Platypup years ago. Heading west with my fedora on, I reached my destination. A chorus sang, "Doofenwitch Wicked Witch Castle!" I heard Doof shout out, "It's not Witch! It's Warlock! Argh!" I climbed up the side of the tower and jumped inside right onto Doof's face just as he was checking his crystal ball.

Next thing I knew, I was stuck on a spider web. Doof approached me. "I know you! You're with that little boot thief, right?" Doof turned toward the window. "Well, I'm sending my flying squirrels after her!" Outside the window flew a squadron of pilot-outfit-wearing squirrels in war planes slowly flying towards the Yellow Sidewalk. _Squirrels? Candace's involuntary fear? She's going to need a lot of comfort after this!_

* * *

><p>Soon, the squirrels came back with Candace. She was placed next to me by a spider monkey (or monkey spider, I don't know which). "Okay," Candace analyzed the situation. "Kidnapped by flying squirrels and get stuck in a web that came out of a monkey's butt. Well, I guess I've had weirder days."<p>

Even without P.A.T., I chattered, _Candace, they didn't hurt you, did they?_

"There you are, Perry," she said.

Doof stepped up. "I've got you now, my pretty. You might as well hand over those boots!" He threatened.

"I would, but they've kinda grown on me!"

"I know, they're nice," Doof complimented. "The color really sets off your eyes!"

Candace was serious, saying that the boots have literally grown on her. She couldn't take them off!

Doof then reasoned that if he couldn't get the boots off of her, he'll get her out of the boots. And by that, he meant disintegrate her entirely!

Candace and I were in trouble. I proceeded to saw myself out of the web with my fedora's built-in saw. Doof called out his guards, leaving me outnumbered. I escaped the castle with Candace shouting, "Run, Perry, run!"

Outside, I lowered my fedora with a glare and ran back down the Yellow Sidewalk toward the bog. _Hang in there, Candace! I'll be right back!_

I quickly found Candace's companions and tried to tell them, _Come on, guys! Candace is in trouble!_ When they couldn't understand me, I pulled out my P.D.A. Monogram appeared on screen. "Gentlemen, we're out to stop Doofenwitch. You want to rescue the girl. I see an opportunity for some inter-agency cooperation. Now, here's the plan. Wait, why am I a fairy?"

_To fit with the theme, obviously._

* * *

><p>Soon back at the castle, we put our plan into action. Disguised as witches, my companions distracted Doof with a free haunted castle makeover while I went to Candace's rescue. I vacuum her out of the web before Doof's Inator could strike her, and we dashed to our freedom.<p>

Unfortunately, Doof realized he's being tricked and summoned his guards again. Candace, I, and our friends were surrounded, as Doof approached us. "How convenient! Everyone's all together."

Jeremy responded, "Yeah, we're kind of expected in Summer Fun City. You know; the Wizard, great and powerful."

"Shut up! You're a tree!"

Candace stepped forward. "Wait a minute! You can't talk to my friend like that!" She grabbed a bucket of water and threw it over the villain.

Instead of melting like in the book though, his 100% cotton outfit started shrinking tightly on him. Doof briefly left to change clothes, ordering his guards to dispose of us.

Candace, with slight fear, asked the guards, "You don't really want to do that, do you?"

One of the guards shook his head, "Well, no. No one ever asks us what we want to do."

Almost immediately, the guards sang about how they haven't had a chance to do what they wished for since they were on Broadway! We took advantage of this musical number to run for the drawbridge. Doof, now in a pink jogging suit, had the monkey spider close the drawbridge.

There was now a lava-filled moat with a lava gator between us and freedom. I looked up into the sky to see a blimp piloted by our "Phineas and Ferb" guides. I used my grappling gun to hook onto the airborne vehicle. With my other arm, I held onto Candace, who held onto Jeremy, who held onto Buford, who held onto Baljeet. The blimp pulled us all into the sky and out of Doof's reach!

"Hey, Candace," Phineas called. "Having fun?"

"Fun?" Candace responded. "Not when you're being chased by… huh? Squirrel! Squirrel!"

Out of nowhere, a squirrel in a war plane flew by and cut the grappling rope. We fell down to what was known as the Sea of Razor Sharp Rock Spires! Luckily, it was so inappropriately named as it was really a meadow of giant pillows that broke our fall. Near the pillows was our final destination: Summer Fun City!

* * *

><p>Summer Fun City lived up to its name! It was full of stuff like the boys back home build to make every day of summer the Best Day Ever! Of course, we were here to meet the Wizard of Odd. Phineas and Ferb appeared to offer a fun travel tube trip to the Wizard.<p>

However, Candace noticed the alternative Yellow Stairs to the Wizard and thought of a challenge: she takes the stairs; our companions and I take the tube; we race to see who gets there first! We agreed and Ferb pulled out the starting flag. The flag was waved and the race was on!

Though the tube would have taken less time and effort for an average person than the stairs, Candace was no average person. She ran up over 7,500 steps to reach the top moments before my team arrived. She was short of breath, but still active enough to stand. Candace did a little victory dance before approaching a cell phone in front of a large video screen.

Candace answered the ringing cell phone. "Hello? I'd like to speak with the Wizard, please."

On the video screen appeared one last familiar face: Linda's! "Hello, Candace."

"Mom, you're the Wizard?"

_Well, why not? After all, Candace, you DO hold your mother in high regard._

Linda the Wizard went to check on the casserole she was cooking while Phineas and Ferb passed out the gifts from their gift bag.

Baljeet the Nerdcrow wanted to be cool. Phineas explained that "coolness is such a rare and indefinable quality that few people really have it." He handed Baljeet a pair of shades. "Most people wear a pair of these and fake it." It was good enough for him!

Jeremy didn't want to be a tree anymore, just as Candace thought! Phineas revealed that he's been completely delusional! He's been a real boy all along and was just wearing a tree costume. Buford noticed the zipper in the back and got it for him. Jeremy was happily left in his underwear (Knowing Candace, she got a little joy out of that).

Buford said he wanted nothing. Phineas tested him, saying most people would say they want nothing when there IS something they would want. Eventually, Buford gave in, reached into the bag, and pulled out a ham sandwich. He DID want that, as he happily gobbled it down!

"There's one more person with a wish," Phineas said. Candace was in thought while the boys were handing out the gifts to her new friends.

She spoke as if she was having second thoughts, "Uh, actually Phineas, I…" But she was interrupted by the appearance of Doofenwarlock.

"Here he is," Phineas said.

"I want those red rubber boots!" Doof demanded.

"Sure. Candace won't mind. Right, Candace?"

"Well, yeah," she answered. "But, they won't come off."

Ferb pulled out a red rubber shoehorn.

_Of course, it takes a red rubber shoehorn to get out of tight, red rubber foot wear._

The boots were removed from Candace and given to Doof. He started dancing with joy until the farmhouse of a young girl and her dog fell on him!

By this point, Linda the Wizard returned. "Now, what were you saying, Candace?"

Candace explained that while the boys were giving her friends their gifts, she came to a realization. She doesn't need to be like her brothers, being creatively able to defy the laws of physics to make fun, being able to build stuff in a day that would take other people years to build! She had her own skills. On her journey, each one of her new friends brought out her skills. Baljeet brought out her focus that helped them cross a chasm; Jeremy helped her improve her athletic skills with the roller-skating lessons; Buford brought out her competitive side that motivates her to do better while they were on the bouncy sidewalk. She even pointed out how she'd stood up for her friends back at the castle against Doof. Finally, she pointed out she'd just used two of her greatest skills: speed and endurance; those qualities are what got her to beat us to the Wizard in our Stairs vs. Tube race!

"So instead of being like my brothers," Candace requested. "I wished for being able to go home, Perry too!"

"Oh, that's easy," Linda said. "All you have to do is wake up."

"Wake up? I don't…" She stopped and looked at me. "Wait, Perry, we've been…?"

Sure enough, everything around Candace and me disappeared, as we both shut our eyes.

* * *

><p>When we opened our eyes, we were back in Candace's room on her bed.<p>

Candace looked at me. "Perry, did you…?"

"Also had a dream where we were in a far-away land and everyone we knew back home was there? Yes, yes I did!"

"Perry," she said, tapping P.A.T. in her ear. "I can understand you again! What happened?"

I explained to her that when the boys and their friends were washing the house, they actually spun it around and used a giant hose to get the job done. Candace passed out onto the floor from the spinning, while I held onto the bed posts.

After the spinning stopped, I managed to get the unconscious teenager onto the bed and decided to take a nap near her. I knew from the get-go that we were dreaming, but I couldn't tell her with a non-functioning translator and little to no paper.

"Thanks, Perry," responded a glad Candace.

Soon, the boys, their friends, and even Jeremy appeared outside Candace's window in a giant, self-balancing unicycle that could take anyone anywhere the fun way. Candace and I joined them, but this time, Candace had something to say to the boys.

"Phineas, Ferb, just know if you ever need an extra hand, I'm here for you!"

That was the start of Candace becoming more and more involved in the boys' activities for summer fun. While she'd keep failing to show Linda their talents and inventions, Candace kept the usual results that my secret was safe and she was having summer fun as good outcomes nevertheless.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I did it! I finished this episode by the end of Spring Break! Well, starting Tuesday, I'll be taking my spring classes at college, so it might be a while before I uploaded my next chapter. I plan to do "No More Bunny Business" next. So, when the time comes, I'll see you there!**

**Until next chapter, R&R. I am out! Peace!**


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